how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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