my sisters under your porch take her home
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
