i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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