i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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