Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful