My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER