So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.