Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize