Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
