Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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