I just made out with a guy for $7.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
