Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it glows. i had to have it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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