we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
