One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize