you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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