Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
