Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
