I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
