I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
