hotel room ftw
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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