I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize