Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
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No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I am naked and annoyed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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