youre lurking in front of me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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