defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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