I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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