let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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