Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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