38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
