Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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