Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Be still, my beating vagina.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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