so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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