That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize