Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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