I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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