Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
