I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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