it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
