Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
