when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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