how can u be prego again
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
