Tell her she can't have a vagina
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
