i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize