My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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