So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
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hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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