just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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