I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
