My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
