Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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