You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
