we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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