Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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