$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
