I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
