Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
