YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize