ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
