weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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