low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
