I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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