dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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