You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
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Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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